Funny jokes-The new iPad

The new iPad went on sale this week. The picture's so fantastic, you can see with amazing clarity just how obsolete the iPad you got for Christmas is
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Short funny jokes-The new iPad

Apple unveiled the new iPad last week. The new iPad apparently has only modest improvements over previous models - which of course means I will trample over my own mother to get one.
posted by Mitesh Asher at 12:00 AM on Mar 12, 2012

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Really funny jokes-The voice

Joe's just gotten his morning coffee on the way to work when a booming voice tells him: "Take the freeway instead of your normal shortcut." He takes the freeway and when he

gets to the office everyone is talking about a huge accident that occurred on his normal route to work.

Three days later he's grilling burgers in his backyard and the voice tells him: "Go inside and watch television." He does and through the window outside he watches a huge

oak tree fall and crush the grill where he was just standing.

When the voice tells him to sell everything he owns and move to Vegas, he sells everything he owns and moves to Vegas. The voice tells him to pay $10,000 to enter the World

Series of Poker Main Event, which he does.

He's dealt two red aces and the voice tells him to go all-in. He shoves all-in and five different players call. The flop is Jack of clubs, 10 of clubs, 9 of clubs...

"Oh sh*t..." the voice says.

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Funny jokes-The Heart Attack Grill

In Las Vegas a diner suffered a heart attack while eating at a restaurant called The Heart Attack Grill. Even worse, it totally ruined the man's plans to take his date back to his room at the Chlamydia Hilton.posted by Mitesh Asher at 12:01 AM on Feb 21, 2012

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One line jokes-The post Office

The Post Office in the USA lost $5.1 billion last year making it the most successful government organization in history.posted by Mitesh Asher at 12:00 AM on Feb 17, 2012

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Good jokes-The secret box

A preacher was told by his doctor that he had only a few weeks left to live.

He went home feeling very sad, and when his wife heard the sad news she said to him, "Honey, if there's anything I can do to make you happy, tell me."

The preacher answered, "You know, dear, there's that box in the kitchen cabinet with what you always called "your little secret" in it and you said you never would want me to open it as long as you lived. Now that I'm about to go home to be with the Lord, why don't you show me what's in that secret box of yours?"

The preacher's wife got out the box and opened the lid.

It contained $10,000 and three eggs.

"What are those eggs doing in the box?" the preacher asked. "Well, Honey," she replied, "every time your sermon was really bad I put an egg in the box.

Now the preacher had been preaching for over forty years, and seeing only three eggs in that old shoe box, he started to feel very proud about himself and it warmed his soul.

"And what about that $10,000?"" he asked.

"Oh, you see," she whispered softly, "every time there were a dozen eggs in the box, I . . . ummm . . . sold them . . . and put a dollar in the box."

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