2 States (Dilemma Solved in under 500 words)

There is an Indian writer who wrote a book, about how it is very difficult in India to marry someone from outside your state. Now I say, it is difficult only if you think it is difficult. The dilemma is not even there. (Also, if you didn’t already notice, I am here to bring about a change in the mindset of the Indian youth.) Here are the three steps of action, you need to take:-

1.) The Threat

Take your Mom to one side. And say gravely, looking right into her eyes:

“Mummy, dekho aapko toh maaloom hi aaj kal kitne log bhaagke shaadi kar rahe hain..”

Your Mom, would most probably say: “Tum kehna kya chahte ho beta?”

2.) Argue

Take a more friendlier tone now,

“Mom, main yahi kehna chahta huu ki aapne mujhe jis school me bheja, usme kitne log humare state ke the? Aapne mujhe jis society mein rakha, usme kitne log humare state ke the? Ab jab meri shaadi ki function hogi, toh usme aisa kaise hoga ki sab log mere state ke hi rahein?”

If you want to add more drama to this, you can become Nana Patekar and say,

“Yeh dekho, yeh hain khoon ke do samples. Isme se aap batao, ki kaunsa sample, kis state ka hai?”

3.) Have your defense ready for the worst:

Now, the biggest threat your Mom could give here is:

“Agar tumhara yahi marzi hain, toh iss ghar ke darwaaze tumhare liye hamesha ke liye band ho jayenge.”

To which you will say, in a sweet voice,

“Mummy, main jaanta huu maa ka dil kitna bada hota hai. Aap ke do hi bete hain. Jyada se Jyada aap mere se ek saal ke liye naaraaz reh sakti ho. Aapne hi toh sikhaaya tha mujhe, “Ki Kupooto jayi ta, kadichapi kumaata na bhavati.” (Sons can be bad, but mother can never be bad.) Jyaada se jyaada do saal aap naaraz rahogi, fir kaai ke liye faaltu ka bad blood.”

4.) Be ethical:

Now, I understand how nature works. God is watching, and he’ll not bless your marriage if you do not take blessings from parents. So, for the final nail in the coffin, you must say these lines to your Mom:

“Mummy, dekho agar aap aashirwaad nahin dete ho toh main bhaag ke shaadi karne hi wala huu.. Lekin, bina aapke aashirwaad ka divorce hone ka chances hai.. aur usse bhi worse, kahin mere ya mere wife ke health pe aapki buri nazar pad gayi toh kitne saare logon ko dard pahunchega.. Ab aap hi soch lo?”

Anyways, that’s it. Happy Married Life!